Morning 10 January 2017

I didn't sleep well last night, and woke late on account of it.  Still, once awake I did what needed to be done more or less efficiently.  I've so far stuck to the Army Diet.

In the past, I've always found strength in gratefulness.  It's so easy to despair when life goes poorly.  I thought I'd start this morning by reflected on those things for which I am grateful.  I'm grateful to be a husband and father.  I must remember that the messiness that comes from those things is sometimes a blessing in disguise.  I'm grateful for my job.  And I'm grateful for my many friends.  I'm a lucky man.

I should focus on these things and how to best enjoy my obligations to them instead of focusing on the fact that the world is burning.  I can't help that the world is burning, but I can be a good father, husband, worker and friend.  And I can take care of my body too, which is what I intend to do next.

Evening Reflection 9 January 2017: Wasting my time

The dishes could be done.  The floor could be swept, but I'm sitting here reading Facebook comments about politics.  My feelings are just as passionate as anyone else's, I think.  I'm better read than most people, but it doesn't usually matter.  I know that almost anything I type just goes into the void.  I feel like I might be able to inform people, but that's not how the world works any more.  There are better uses of my time.  It's one thing to say that, but quite another to act on it.

I should be somewhat grateful.  I didn't eat too much today.  I stuck with an adapted version of the Army Diet as found on the internet.  I've lost a few pounds doing this since New Years.  I hope to keep it up, not only because it's helping me lose weight, but because it's teaching me about portion sizes.  I think that's the most important thing.  I am innately unconcerned with how much food I eat.  It's incredibly unhealthy.

I should go to bed in an hour or so.  I suppose that I'd do well to try to accomplish another task or two before then.

Bad Stoic

I adopted Stoicism about 2 years ago.  I'm a bad Stoic.  I know the doctrines that are relevant to modern life, but I often have trouble living.  It's one thing to believe a thing.  It's another actually do it.  I eat more than I ought.  I waste my time entertaining myself.  I know that these things won't make me happier, but I do them anyway.  The truth is that they often make me less happy than I would be if I ate less and were hard at work.

Where should I apply my energy?  That's the real question.  I have no idea.  I'd like to commit to keeping a daily journal, but I can't imagine that I'll actually keep up with it.  I guess the journal would keep track of my daily goals and observations, as well as my failings.

I'll start with my failings.  I should have gotten up at 5:30 today, but I didn't.  I didn't have anything in particular that I really had to do that early - which is why I didn't get up.  It's probably a little early for me anyway.  Still, I should have gotten up and conducted a rigorous PT early.  I got up late and conducted a weak sort of PT.

I've been lame all day.

I did manage to walk almost 8 miles.  And I did research Bahai faith.  I think I want to go to one of their temples and write about it.

That's all I'll write for now.  Maybe, I'll write again tomorrow, but I doubt it.